Facebook in Storybrooke
by Plume-now
Summary: TRANSLATION - And if the characters of OUAT had Facebook? Regina would be the author of the group Storybrooke on internet. And I can tell you that the conversations will give. Humor guaranteed.
1. Chapter 1

Hi! Here you can see... my first fanfiction in English. In fact, this fic is also in French (whose name is "Facebook Storybrooke") and I wanted to translate it in English too for... well, for you ^^

Well, I just want to precise I'm French. If there are some mistakes... Do not hesitate, tell me!

And if you like this fanfiction, I'll traduce the others chapters, it's as you want, it depends of your reviews :3

Hope you'll have a good time to read it!

NB: I decided to put "every" characters of the serie, so if you see peoples who should be dead, this isn't a mistake at all :3

Enjoy reading this ~

* * *

**And Facebook in Once Upon A Time ?**

Regina Mills created the group « Storybrooke ».

_Henry Mills likes that._

Emma Swan: Seriously, Regina?

Regina Mills: It can't be so bad.

_Henry Mills likes that._

Emma Swan: It's Henry who asked you that, didn't he?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Emma! :D

Neal Cassidy: I was told that there was a group. I see my sources are good.

_Henry Mills likes that._

Emma Swan: You're here, you too?

Neal Cassidy: You can see it!

David Nolan: What happens?

Killian Jones: Why call this group "Storybrooke"? "Jolly Roger" would be a better name.

_William Smee and 6 people like that. _

Ariel: Everything isn't always about your boat, Hook!

_Eric, Lacey and 15 people like that._

Lacey: Is Rumple here too?

Mr. Gold: Apparently.

_Lacey likes that._

Lacey: That's awesome! :)

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Emma, can we see each other this evening?

Mr. Gold: We can say that like that.

Regina Mills: Does Henry can sleep in my home tonight?

_Henry Mills likes that._

Emma Swan: I don't know, yes if he wants. I've to go.

_Henry Mills and Regina Mills like that._

Henry Mills: I'm O.K!

_Regina Mills likes that._

Mary Margaret Blanchard:... Hum, Emma?

_Regina Mills likes that._

* * *

Henry Mills likes « apples ».

_Regina Mills, Cora and 4 people like that._

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Seriously?

Emma Swan: Seriously?

* * *

Mary Margaret Blanchard posted on her wall "Disney had made a very bad presentation of Snow-White. There isn't any logic in it, and the princess is totally stupid."

_Regina Mills, Cora and 127 people unknown like that._

Mary Margaret Blanchard: …

Regina Mills: …

Mary Margaret Blanchard: What?

_Regina Mills likes that._

* * *

Jefferson likes « Hats ».

Killian Jones: Surprising.

* * *

David Nolan wrote on the Emma Swan's wall "The best Savior of all the time!".

_Mary Margaret Blanchard and Henry Mills like that._

Emma Swan: …

Regina Mills: …

* * *

Neal Cassidy likes « Peter Pan ».

Killian Jones: Seriously?! The captain has a terrible face!

_Neal Cassidy likes that._

Neal Cassidy: Peter Pan cuts a hand to Hook :D

Killian Jones: …

Neal Cassidy: And he offers it to the crocodile.

_Mr. Gold likes that._

* * *

Regina Mills likes « The Aristocats ».

Emma Swan: Really, everybody goes to Disney here.

Regina Mills: It's a very good cartoon. It gave me the urge to go in France.

Emma Swan: …Seriously?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Regina, I forbid you to cast a second spell on this town.

* * *

Regina Mills is now friend with Zelena.

_Cora likes that._

Emma Swan: Regina?!

Regina Mills: It was a mistake! I never wanted to invite her!

Zelena: Happy to be accepted among your friends, sis!

_Cora likes that._

* * *

Killian Jones did the best score to "Tides of fortune".

William Smee: …Cheater.

Killian Jones: You are jealous, M. Smee?

William Smee: I'm not jealous of the cheaters, pirate!

_Killian Jones likes that._

* * *

Regina Mills joined the group "Cast a curse and have a happy ending".

_Mr. Gold and 18 people like that._

Emma Swan: …

_Mr. Gold, Regina Mills and 18 people like that._

* * *

Emma Swan: I have a question. Actually, I'm surprised by the fact that so many peoples accepted to be in the Regina's group... So... Why?

Regina Mills: What, I don't have the right to have a group?

Henry Mills: In fact, I created it!

_Regina Mills likes that._

Emma Swan: …

Killian Jones: And?

Emma Swan: You were here, you?

Killian Jones: Hum, yes. I'm interested.

Henry Mills: After, I just changed the name. And I gave my adress to Regina. I have an other now.

_Regina Mills likes that._

Lacey: This is possible, that?

Emma Swan: In clear, we get swindled.

Killian Jones: …

_Mr. Gold likes that._

* * *

Killian Jones wrote on his wall "I'm the master of the ocean".

_William Smee and 6 people like that._

Ursula: You'd like.

* * *

Cora likes "red hearts".

_Mr. Gold, Regina Mills, Zelena and 4 people like that._

Jefferson: Surprising for the Queen of Hearts.

_Killian Jones, Emma Swan and 6 people like that._

Graham: If they remain in the chest owner.

Cora: …

Regina Mills: …

Mr. Gold: …

Zelena: …

* * *

Killian Jones likes "Pirates of the Caribbeans".

_William Smee and 7 people like that._

David Nolan: I did not expected that.

_Emma Swan, Jefferson and 13 people like that._

* * *

Emma Swan: What did you like in this movie, Killian?

_Killian Jones likes that._

Killian Jones: Happy that it's you who ask me that, Swan.

Neal Cassidy: So?

Killian Jones: … Pirates, obviously.

_William Smee and 6 people like that._

* * *

Emma Swan: Seriously, Killian, what did you like the more in Pirates of the Caribbeans?

Killian Jones: Why so much insistence on this issue?

Emma Swan: Just curiosity.

_Killian Jones likes that._

Killian Jones: I said it was because of the pirates.

Neal Cassidy: Yes, he said it.

William Mouche: I confirm.

Emma Swan: I'm sure there is an other thing.

Killian Jones: Your lie-detectors for super-heroes works also on internet?

Emma Swan: It seems. So?

Killian Jones: I will not answer without the presence of a lawyer.

_Regina Mills likes that._

* * *

_Private messages: Emma Swan and Killian Jones_

Killian Jones: Yes?

Emma Swan: When I know I'm right, I just want sometimes the proof I am.

Killian Jones: Again with this story of Pirates of Caribbean? Is it a pretext to be next to me? You know you just have to ask.

Emma Swan: So?

Killian Jones: I've got a low for Johnny Depp.

Emma Swan: …

Killian Jones: AHAH! You believed it, don't you? Did your heart bounced in your chest?

Emma Swan: I'll take some air.

* * *

Zelena likes "littles monkeys flying".

Walsh: …

Leroy: I defend you to put again this kind of things, Zelena.

_Emma Swan, Neal Cassidy, Walsh and 30 people like that._

Zelena: This is _my_ wall, that I know!

_Cora and 11 people like that._

* * *

_Private messages: Emma Swan and Killian Jones._

Killian Jones: It was a joke, Emma.

Emma Swan: I knew there was something. Once again, I was right.

Killian Jones: It was a joke! A JOKE!

Emma Swan: But I didn't see it come, that. Since how many times are you gay, Killian?

Killian Jones:...If someone had told me that women interpreted all wrong and took everything at the first degree, I would say anything at all.

* * *

Emma Swan wrote on her wall "The truth for all".

David Nolan: What happens, Emma?

Killian Jones: Tell me this is not what I think about.

Neal Cassidy: Hook. I hope you've nothing to see in this.

Killian Jones: I absolutely did nothing!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: A problem?

Killian Jones: Swan, I hope that "your truth" is also true that you pretend to.

David Nolan: You're not threaten my daughter, I hope?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: _Our_ daughter.

David Nolan: Our daughter.

Killian Jones: But no! At last, why should I menace her?

Ariel: She maybe finally finds something which is doubtful with you.

David Nolan: Anyway, everything is doubtful in him.

_Mary Margaret Blanchard, Ariel and 11 people like that._

Killian Jones: I am a pirate!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Thanks, we were aware about it.

Neal Cassidy: Emma, what is this truth?

Emma Swan: I finally understood how to play at "Tides of fortune"!

* * *

Lacey: Well done Emma! It's true that it's not easy, this game.

William Smee: Ahah! A new opponent for the Captain Hook!

Mr. Gold: Don't hesitate to massacre him, Emma.

Ariel: Go ahead Emma, take him back in his place!

Killian Jones: … Hang up.

* * *

Killian Jones likes « the Jolly Roger ».

_William Mouche and 6 people like that._

David Nolan: It would surprise me.

_Emma Swan and 13 people like that._

Killian Jones: I still maintain the fact that this group should be called Jolly Roger.

* * *

That's all for the first chapter... ! Hope you liked it. I know, Hook is often there, and I told it already in my French fanfic, but I made appear a lot of other characters by the following (without removing Hook, of course!)

Let a review to let me know your opinion and what you think about it!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi ! So, despite my very bad translation of the first chapter... well, I saw that some of you wanted the following and followed my fic'.

I'm happy you like it, and still hope the translation is not too too too bad... As I said before, tell me if you see a very big mistake!

I want to thank you** Shakespeare-Plume-d'Or** for her ideas and encouragements.

A review, of course, is always a pleasure to read! :3

Enjoy~

* * *

_Emma Swan was identified on a picture._

Regina Mills: HEY! BUT THIS IS MY TREE!

Jefferson: Not bad at all, this picture.

August Wayne Booth: Isn't it?

Neal Cassidy: It's you who take it, Pinoccio?

August Wayne Booth: I found that it was worth it.

_Jefferson, Neal and 15 people __like that._

Jefferson: And you were right.

Graham: Legally...

Regina Mills: I demand repair.

Emma Swan: I can offer you a new chain saw.

* * *

Leroy joined the group "of the 7 dwarfs".

_Walter, Prof and 4 people like that._

Emma Swan: For a bit we could believed it.

* * *

Robin Hood joined the group « Storybrooke ».

Emma Swan: Welcome among us!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Welcome!

Neal Cassidy: _Welcome_!

David Nolan: Welcome, archer!

Regina Mills: …This is MY group. _WHO_ INVITED HIM?

_Tinkerbell, Henry Mills and 147 people like that._

* * *

Graham likes « wolfs ».

_Ruby likes that._

* * *

Regina Mills wrote on her wall "You think I forget? I still want to know WHO invited that... thief in the group!".

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Why, otherwise you'll cast another curse?

_Emma Swan and David Nolan like that._

Robin Hood: I disturb all that much?

Regina Mills: I don't accept the _thief_ in Storybrooke !

Killian Jones: We could also call it Jolly Roger otherwise...

David Nolan: And do we accept also the Evil Queens who have killed a number which is again unknown of innocents?

Regina Mills: …

* * *

Phillip wrote on his wall "I just discovered the movie Pirates of Caribbeans! I finally get the joke! Ahah! In fact there is a Swann too in this film!"

_Killian Jones and Aurore like that._

David Nolan: Oooh. I didn't understand it.

Emma Swan: …

Robin Hood: Did I miss something?

* * *

Robin Hood likes « the archery ».

David Nolan: Noooooooooooooo?

* * *

_Private messages: Emma Swan and Killian Jones._

Killian Jones: You see that I'm not gay?!

Emma Swan: …I don't see in what the fact that a girl named Elisabeth Swann in "Pirates of Caribbeans" changes something at level of your sexuality orientation.

Killian Jones: …But it's not true.

* * *

_Regina Mills is now in relationship_

Mary Margaret Blanchard: … Regina?!

David Nolan: Regina?! o_O

Archibald Hopper: Regina?

Cora: REGINA?

Emma Swan: …

Mr. Gold: It's good, you know her name.

_Henry Mills likes that._

* * *

Neal Cassidy: You are in relationship, Regina?

Archibald Hopper: …Regina in relationship.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Really? Really?! Really really?!

Regina Mills: In what is it so surprising?

Emma Swan:...There is a thunderstorm outside. Avoid to irritate her, please. I've got some washing to dry.

Neal Cassidy: You think the rain is linked to that? u_u

Archibald Hopper: …Regina in relationship.

Mary Margaret: I JUST FIND THE VEGETABLES OUTSIDE TOTALY DROWNED!

Neal Cassidy: …

Emma Swan: I told you! Thank you now, it's dead for my washing.

Archibald Hopper: …Regina in relationship.

Regina Mills: What is this SO surprising in that?!

Emma Swan: Nothing!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Nothing! Nothing, but...

David Nolan: EH YES I THINK

* * *

M. Clarck wrote on his wall "Again sick...".

Prof: Sneezy ! I told you to cover the nose!

M. Clarck: I had put three scarves.

* * *

Neal Cassidy likes "the orange".

_Malcolm likes that._

Malcolm: You're right, orange represents hope.

Mr. Gold: What is he doing there, him?!

Neal Cassidy: Who invited him?

Mr. Gold: What the hell are you doing there?!

Neal Cassidy: How did you arrived to come here?

Mr. Gold: ANSWER

Malcolm: I can go everywhere if I want to. And I remind you I'm the person the most powerful who can exist. Facebook doesn't resist to me :p

Neal Cassidy: You spied us since the beginning?!

Malcolm: I don't stoop to this kind of childish pranks when even. And besides, I find that the "Tides of fortune" is a stupid game.

Neal Cassidy: He was spying us during our conversations.

Mr. Gold: He was spying us during our conversations.

Malcolm: Pfeuh. Wretched runts. You are so pitiful.

Mr. Gold: Get out immediately of this network.

* * *

Archibald Hopper: …Regina is in couple.

Jefferson: It is the first April?

* * *

_Private messages: Emma Swan and Killian Jones._

Emma Swan: I don't understand why you don't arrive to assume your homosexuality.

Killian Jones: …

Emma Swan: No but it's true! There is a lot of gays in the world! I don't see the problem!

Killian Jones: …Am I obliged to answer to this?

* * *

Henry Mills wrote on the Felix's wall "Felix, a question that I always wanted to ask you: do you like cats?".

Felix : …Hin hin. Very funny.

_Emma Swan, Neal Cassidy and 23 peoples like that._

* * *

_Aurore and Mulan are now friends._

* * *

_Private messages: Emma Swan and Killian Jones._

Emma Swan: You should say it to the others.

Killian Jones: I am NOT gay.

Emma Swan: Come ooooon! You can tell me everything!

Killian Jones:...Emmaaaa!

Emma Swan: So?

Killian Jones: THIS MOVIE PLEASED ME BECAUSE I SAW MYSELF IN THE PIRATE AND YOU INSTEAD OF SWANN

Emma Swan: …What?

Killian Jones: Moreover, she's blond too.

* * *

_Regina Mills was identified in a picture._

Regina Mills: WHO put a picture of me sleeping with a chain saw?!

_Emma Swan, August Wayne Booth and 27 people like that._

* * *

Cora wrote on the Regina Mills's wall "WITH WHO ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?".

David Nolan: It was a joke in fact, that's it?

Archibald Hopper: …Regina is in relationship.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: With who, Regina?

Mr. Gold: It's probably also false as my socks smell good.

Emma Swan: But it's maybe also true as Hook is gay. Life reserves so many surprises.

David Nolan: WHAT?

Killian Jones: WHAT?

Ariel: You're gay, Killian?

Killian Jones: But no!

Jefferson: There are a lot of first April in this moment.

David Nolan: Aaah I knew that there was something!

Archibald Hopper: …Regina. In relationship.

Killian Jones: HEY NO YOU WILL NOT GET STARTED YOU TOO

Lacey: To what?

Malcolm: We've got a gay pirate.

Ariel: I thought he only was in love with his boat.

_David Nolan and 8 people like that._

David Nolan: Eh, but what is he doing here, him?

Ariel: What?

David Nolan: Malcolm?

Neal Cassidy: Peter Pan!

Mr. Gold: WHERE?

Malcolm: Where?

David Nolan: You!

Mr. Gold: GET OUT

* * *

Archibald Hopper: …In relationship. She's in relationship.

* * *

Regina Mills likes « apples ».

Mary Margaret Blanchard: …Do I really let a comment?

Emma Swan: And the apples turnovers also, eh?

Henry Mills: …

* * *

Sidney Glass wrote on his wall « I hate mirrors ».

Emma Swan: We all could do a group with that.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Of what?

Emma Swan: About what we hate.

* * *

_Henry Mills created the group « Of things we hate »._

Emma Swan: …It was a joke, Henry!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Me, I found this is a good idea! :D

Sidney Glass: I hate mirrors.

* * *

Ariel likes « ocean ».

Emma Swan: Tell me, are there still many like that?

* * *

That's it for this chapter! See you soon, if you want to!

Thank you for your support!

**Plume-now**


	3. Chapter 3

You know what ? My two last chapters - and first in fact - are in English, yeah. But a French/English, you know, like the French who I am who try to translate in English but it's not as good as I though. But this time I found a great beta. A beta wonderful, you don't how much. I want to thank you NicoFan-of-Apollo for her help,she's AMAZING and I think this chapter will be better for the language than the others thanks to her.

Enjoy!

* * *

Mulan listened to the music "I'll Make A Man Out of You" by Jackie Chan.

_Neal Cassidy and Henry Mills like this._

Neal Cassidy: Wait, the original version or in English?

Mulan: 原来的。

Neal Cassidy: …okay.

* * *

Cora reads an article in EvilMag "How to become the master of the most powerful and absolute?"

_Regina Mills, Zelena, Mr. Gold and 18 others like this._

David Nolan: Mary Margaret, we've now got 18 unknown people to watch out for.

* * *

August Wayne Booth likes « Guignol ».

Ruby: Guignol? What's that?

Marco: Puppets.

Henry Mills: The main character of puppets for children!

Emma Swan: And why does August like that?

Neal Cassidy: …Is this question serious, Emma?

* * *

_Regina Mills made the test _« Which character are you in Storybrooke? ».

_Her answer:_ Emma Swan.

Regina Mills: This test is a fake! It's totally invalid! I do not fit this kind of personality at all!

Emma Swan: …I don't know how I should take that.

Killian Jones: Oh my god I'm dying.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: You made the test Regina?

David Nolan: Oh that, I would never believe she would make it.

Regina Mills: I'm free to do what I want, no?

August Wayne Booth: Ah, that. If we watch how the world works, objectively...

Regina Mills: You, the wooden puppet, we didn't ask you anything!

August Wayne Booth: It's simply mathematics. Well, for what I say about it...

Regina Mills: And it's totally illogical! How could I be Emma Swan if I've myself cast the curse? I can't be the Evil Queen and the Savior!

Emma Swan: She's right.

Regina Mills: I'm right! This test is invalid!

Jefferson: For my part I find this funny enough.

Regina Mills: You, the ambulant hat, we didn't ask you anything either!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Oh, calm down Regina... It's just a test.

Regina Mills: You look great to say that. Do it too. You'll see!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: I already took it.

David Nolan: Oh really?  
Mary Margaret Blanchard: I am Tinkerbell.

Tinkerbell: Seriously?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Yes

Tinkerbell: I will never look at myself in the mirror the same way.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: How should I take that?

Regina Mills: Okay, all of you, take this test so that I can laugh too!

* * *

Regina Mills and Zelena participated in the event "Fancy dress party – Evil's dresses".

Zelena: You'll see, this time I'll win! I always win at the final!

Regina Mills: Don't count on my stuff, seaweed. I cast a protection spell on my wardrobe.

Zelena: Seaweed?!

_Emma Swan, Regina Mills and 11 people like this._

* * *

Lacey wrote on her wall "Say, am I the only one who always wants to know what's going on with Regina's relationship?".

David Nolan: Absolutely not.

Phillip: We think about that.

Neal Cassidy: We'll solve this mystery.

Ariel: We'll finish well by finding it.

Aurora: We'll know one day.

Jefferson: One dayyyyyyyy my priiiiince will coooooooome ~

David Nolan: …

Lacey: …

Aurora: What the hell is that?

Jefferson: And he'll take me awaayyyy~

Lacey: I dream or he's singing a Disney song?

Ariel: WHO drugged the Mad Hatter?

Aurora: Um, saying it like that...

Ariel: What?

Aurora: Well, Mad Hatter...

Ariel: Ah yes.

Lacey: So?

Jefferson: One dayyyyyyyy my priiiiince will coooooooome ~

Neal Cassidy: That someone denounce himself!

Emma Swan: I do protest! He's not drugged!

David Nolan: How do you know that, Emma?

Emma Swan: Mary Margaret and I had decided to take our revenge because of what he did to us the last time. He sequestered Mary Margaret and hit me, I remind you.

David Nolan: Ah, yes... And then?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: We locked him in a room and he had to watch the same scene of Disney's Snow White for 24 hours.

Aurora: It's a bit cruel.

Ariel: I agree.

Jefferson: One dayyyyyyyyy we'll faaaaaaaaaaall in loooooooooooove

Neal Cassidy: Let me guess... You put the scene where Snow White sings behind the well in her castle.

Lacey: Mary Margaret, you said yourself that this cartoon was bad.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Exactly! He'll understand like that.

Aurora: Understand what? That Snow White sings very badly?

Emma Swan: Then we just liberated him here.

Aurora: And his daughter, what did she say?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: She's not here for the moment, justly.

Ariel: I find it very sadistic.

Jefferson: The biiiiiiiirds will siiiiiiiiing for uuuuuuuus ~

Mary Margaret Blanchard: This is not my fault if she sings as a pie!

Emma Swan: Um... that expression doesn't exist.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Don't care!

Jefferson: The beeeeells will tinkleeeeeeee~

Aurora: Please, someone make him stop I heard him from here.

Emma Swan: Seriously?

Jefferson: The uniooooon of ouuuuuuur heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarts

David Nolan: Moreover, he pollutes the conversation here.

Neal Cassidy: Okay, okay, I'll do this.

Ariel: Make him sleep, that would be good.

Emma Swan: Remember you he's mad, attach him.

Aurora: Say, don't you find that the conversation changes each time we speak about Regina's relationship?

Jefferson: Yes, One dayyyyyyyy my priiiiince will coooooooome ~

* * *

_Rapunzel likes « Frozen »._

David Nolan: Henry liked this cartoon a lot!

Rapunzel: It's not just a cartoon.

David Nolan: Ah?

Rapunzel: Elsa is my cousin.

Henry Mills: …Revelation.

* * *

Private messages: Emma Swan and Regina Mills

Emma Swan: What?

Regina Mills: Oh, it's good, no need to panic! I'd just like to know what do you want to get Henry for his birthday.

Emma Swan: Oh yeah, that's true...

Regina Mills: Don't tell me you forgot.

Emma Swan: No, I was just very busy.

Regina Mills: So?

Emma Swan: …A PlayStation?

* * *

_Henry Mills and Rapunzel are now friends._

Mary Margaret Blanchard: I didn't know that Henry was a very, very big fan at this point.

* * *

Ruby changed her profile picture.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: What's that?

Granny: It's seems that it's red.

David Nolan: Well, you're on the internet now are you?

Granny: It looks like it.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Why red?

Granny: It's not me that you've got to ask.

David Nolan: Well, yes, rightly, you would be more likely to understand.

Granny: Absolutely not! It's not because I'm her grandma that I know everything about her!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: It's maybe because she just longed to.

Ariel: I dream or this is all a debate because Ruby changed her profile picture?

David Nolan: We've got the right to be interested in what the others do!

Ariel: No, there you just look like some old tattletale who spies on the others life.

Granny: Hey! Careful what you say about old people, you!

Ariel: It wasn't against you, Granny.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Well. That's true. Ariel is right. We've got other things more interesting to do, no?

Ruby changed her profile picture.

David Nolan: We can see Ruby again!

Granny: Normal, it's her facebook.

David Nolan: Not wrong.

Ruby: …What the hell is all of this?

David Nolan: A discussion.

Mr. Gold: Bravo!

Ruby: You're kidding me?

_Mr. Gold likes this._

Mary Margaret Blanchard: We were asking ourselves why you put a red picture on your profile.

Ruby: Which picture?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Instead of your head.

Granny: They're asking vital issues.

_Mr. Gold likes this._

Ruby: It was just a wrong upload. This picture appeared for just a few seconds and you jumped at it like rats.

David Nolan: Not like rats, notwithstanding... Just curiosity.

Ruby: …I've got the impression to deal with vultures spying on others profiles during hours and hours behind their computer.

Malcolm: But no!

* * *

_Dr. Whale likes « Frankenstein Junior »._

Emma Swan: What can I say to this?

Mr. Gold: …

Regina Mills: …Really?

* * *

_Regina Mills likes « apple's trees »._

Emma Swan: WELL NOW IT'S ENOUGH WITH THIS STORY OF APPLES HERE

* * *

_Malcolm likes « Neverland »._

Emma Swan: Me to. I liked. When I was a little girl. I dreamed to go there and to never grow up.

_Malcolm likes this._

Emma Swan:...Until I discovered that the lost boys were in fact just a sect.

_Neal Cassidy likes this._

* * *

_Zelena wrote on Tinkerbell's wall_ "Tinkerbell likes bells."

Tinkerbell : Ahahah very funny.

Zelena : I won't apologize.

Tinkerbell: I didn't expected you to.

Zelena: Admit that someone had to do this.

_16 anonymous like this._

Tinkerbell: BUNCH OF COWARDS!

* * *

Emma Swan: It's possible to be "anonymous" on facebook?

Tinkerbell: Usually, no.

Emma Swan: So?

Tinkerbell: So we know that those who are the most cowardly are very good nerds or wizards.

_Malcolm likes this._

* * *

David Nolan wrote on his wall "It's now time to talk seriously about Regina's relationship."

Aurora: Finally, I'm not so sure...

Mary Margaret Blanchard: We should study who is around her.

Emma Swan: Huh... The people who are around her? That's us.

Neal Cassidy: You know, that makes us all a bunch of stalkers with all of this... Can't we respect his private life?

Lacey: I think that it's Emma.

David Nolan: … It's a joke, Lacey?

Lacey: But no! If we really think about it, Emma is in fact closer to Regina than us! And then the Storybrooke test!

Emma Swan: The Storybrooke test means absolutely nothing! That's anything!

Mr. Gold: In this way we can start to suspect everyone here.

Ariel: It could even be Mr. Gold so.

Lacey: WHAT?

Mr. Gold: No, are you insane?!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: And why not Killian?

Killian Jones: OH HELL NO! Please leave me out of all of this for once!

David Nolan: No, he is gay.

Killian Jones: …

Tinkerbell: And why not Robin Hood?

David Nolan: Oh well true we never see him.

Emma Swan: In the same time we certainly must scare him.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: And Graham?

Aurora: ...No but it's incredible that! But do you see yourself?!

David Nolan: What?

Neal Cassidy: She is right. We're not really decent.

Aurora: That's really a disrespect, but incredible! You know she can read everything here?!

Ariel: … She's not totally wrong.

Aurora: We're talking about her relationship on a public site! Worst, we make some hypotheses on her private life!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: …

Lacey: Well... what do we do now?

David Nolan had created the group "Discover with whom Regina is in a relationship".

* * *

David Nolan likes "swords".

_Mulan likes this._

* * *

Dr. Whale listened « Frankenstein » by Marcus Miller.

Jefferson: There's no lyrics in this song, no?

Graham: Yeah, I don't think so.

Dr. Whale: That revels very well what I feel.

* * *

Rapunzel likes « Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games ».

David Nolan: I'm sure it's because Elsa and Katniss both have a plait.

_Henry Mills likes this._

* * *

Mr. Gold likes « Rumplestilskin » from Shrek.

David Nolan: … I don't know what we should think about this.

Lacey: That's good for your self esteem?

Emma Swan: Is that a joke?

Mr. Gold: I felt close to this character.

David Nolan: You wear the same name.

Killian Jones: This is an excellent observation, Nolan. You're being old.

David Nolan: You, the gay pirate, we didn't ask you anything.

Mary Margaret Blanchard, Ariel and 4 people like this.

Killian Jones: … Will you not start again each time I speak?


	4. Chapter 4

I'm a truely sorry 'cause I'm late but I didn't forget you, I just was tooo busy and I've got sooo many fanfictions I've got to write at the same time... this is very complicated. I saw some of you had the courage to go on my french fanfiction to say "I love it I read it in English too" etc. and it really makes me happy to see that. So here he is the new chapter! Don't hesitate to let me a review - okay please let me a review that would be a pleasure to read it for me and for my beta NicoFan-of-Apollo who helped me a lot ! Thanks for reading, enjoy !

* * *

Regina Mills shared a video.

_Cora, Mr. Gold and 8 people like this._

Mary Margaret Blanchard: What the hell is...?!

Cora: Ahahah! Not bad at all! The little Snow White isn't as wise and kind as we said, huh?

David Nolan: Mary Margaret? What is...?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Eeeeh! I was not myself!

Mr. Gold: Olala. That, ah yes I remember. And I warned her.

David Nolan: You did what, Rumplestilskin?

Mr. Gold: Well do not blame me here, huh!

Henry Mills: …Why is Snow White beating all the animals around her after singing and house cleaning?

Emma Swan: Uh... I cannot explain this one to you, Henry.

Leroy: Oh my God. Mary Margaret, I've already told you and I repeat it, don't ever take this potion again!

David Nolan: The potion you took because I was going to marry Abigaïl?

Leroy: That's it. And she has made pretty ones.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Yes, no, that's alright, uh, I'm sorry. That's from the past now.

Regina Mills: That would be funny to let her like this.

_Mr. Gold likes this._

* * *

Mary Margaret Blanchard listened to the music « I Believe [In Love] » by Lily Collins.

_David Nolan likes this._

* * *

Emma Swan wrote on her wall "Hook isn't gay."

Killian Jones: … Is that again to re-walnut me or are you serious about this declaration?

Ariel: Not gay?

Robin Hood: Hook is gay?

Lacey: But no, Emma's wall says that he's not.

Robin Hood: Why would he be gay?

David Nolan: He is not?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Oh really?

Jefferson: Why isn't he gay?

Killian Jones: …But why would I be gay?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Emma told us.

David Nolan: Yes Emma told us.

Killian Jones: Emma is Gospel's word now?

David Nolan: What?

Killian Jones: Forget it.

Regina Mills: What is this story?

Killian Jones: Well you missed an episode, you.

Emma Swan: Killian Jones is not gay.

David Nolan: Yes thanks we saw it on your wall. Why?

Emma Swan: What do you mean why?

Killian Jones: Thanks Swan.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Why he is not gay?

Emma Swan: Well it's because he's not.

Ariel: That would mean that he's bi?

Killian Jones: …

Emma Swan: No, see! I just wrote it to annoy him.

Killian Jones: You are hopeless.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: That wasn't true?

Killian Jones: It doesn't mean just because you like an actor that you're obviously gay!

Emma Swan: No! You know how Killian is heavy at times.

David Nolan: I would say at every time, yes!

_Emma Swan, Ariel and 13 people like this._

Killian Jones: …Nice.

Lacey: Which actor was it?

Killian Jones: Johnny Depp.

David Nolan: Ah yes, for Johnny Depp that's right that...

Mary Margaret Blanchard: …We'll say that I won't pick up, David.

David Nolan: It was a joke, Mary Margaret!

Killian Jone: Ah, I'm not the only one to be a victim of the women hasty judgment, eh!

Emma Swan: …Hrmm. Whatever it is. To make him understand, I threw this false rumor.

Killian Jones: Failed, I didn't understand. You seemed to believe in it yourself.

Emma Swan: Well, now you know I wasn't serious.

David Nolan: Wait. That means that Killian isn't gay?

Emma Swan: He never was.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Never never?

Emma Swan: Never never.

Ariel: Really?

Emma Swan: THAT'S RIGHT

David Nolan: Oh.

Emma Swan: …

Killian Jones: …Is it just me or am I getting the impression that you're all disappointed?

Robin Hood: I'm not sure I followed all of this.

Regina Mills: …You talk about strange things when I am not here.

_Malcolm likes this._

* * *

_Wendy Darling and Neal Cassidy are now friends._

* * *

Zelena wrote on Regina Mills' wall "Laugh as well as you can, I will be the one who will win!"

_Regina Mills likes this._

Regina Mills: Perhaps, dear sister, but for now, you are the loser.

Cora: What is it about?

Regina Mills: Zelena lost again for the evening of the most beautiful dresses of the fancy dress party.

Zelena: I will take revenge!

Regina Mills: That's right, and next time put a feather duster on your head, it will better illustrate your dyed seaweed.

_Mr. Gold likes this._

* * *

_Privates messages: Emma Swan and Killian Jones._

Killian Jones: Thank you for finally stopping this charade Emma.

Emma Swan: I hope that this will be a lesson at least.

Killian Jones: A lesson? Which lesson?

Emma Swan: You do it on purpose, don't you?

Killian Jones: …

Emma Swan: …I feel that a ship is going to sink.

Killian Jones: Aaah! That's right, of course, that's right yes I understood the lesson of course that's right what a question.

* * *

Today, is Henry Mills' birthday.

Regina Mills and Emma Swan wrote on Henry Mills' wall "HAPPY BIRTHDAY HENRY!"

Regina Mills: …

Emma Swan: …

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Happy birthday, Henry!

David Nolan: Happy birthday!

Henry Mills: Thank you, a lot! :D

Killian Jones: Happy birthday, sailor!

Lacey: Happy birthday!

Neal Cassidy: Happy birthday, chap!

Ruby: A very happy birthday!

Robin Hood: It seems that it is your birthday, so happy birthday!

Ariel: Happy birthday!

Henry Mills: Thank you very much! All of you!

Regina Mills: I wished it to him first.

Emma Swan: You dream.

* * *

Regina Mills: So, Henry, were you happy with your presents?

Henry Mills: Yes! They are wonderful! Thanks to all of you!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: By the way, what did you offer him David?

David Nolan: A driving lesson.

_Henry Mills likes this._

Regina Mils: WHAT?

David Nolan: He grew up, he's a man now! So I decided to teach him to become independent.

_Henry Mills likes this._

Henry Mills: It was super cool! And Hook taught me some stuff to!

Emma Swan: Huh? What?

Henry Mills: I managed to drive a boat! It was exciting!

_Killian Jones likes this._

Killian Jones: There is nothing more exciting than driving the Jolly Roger.

Ariel: I do not know why, but I expected it to that one.

Killian Jones: Why does she always appear just to criticize me?

Emma Swan: …A car and a boat, wonderful.

Regina Mills: Why not a helicopter for that matter.

Emma Swan: You could have killed him, you know?

Mary Margaret Blanchard: I quite agree with Emma, it was a bit dangerous.

Regina Mills: A bit? There was little chance that he would not be hurt, yes!

David Nolan: Well of course not! Don't you trust me?

Killian Jones: We had control of the situation perfectly.

David Nolan: Do you take me for a pirate?

Killian Jones: …Thanks for your support, Nolan.

_Mr. Gold and Malcolm like this._

* * *

Jefferson listened to the music « Wishery » by Pogo.

Aurora: … Eh well he doesn't look better.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Pff.

* * *

_Johanna and Mary Margaret Blanchard are now friends._

* * *

Regina Mills likes « the black ».

* * *

Aurora and Phillip took the test _« Which character are you in Storybrooke? »_

_Their answer:_ Mulan and Robin Hood.

Regina Mills: …When I put you to the challenge, I did not think about you both.

Emma Swan: Who is who?

Phillip: I am Robin Hood, Aurora is Mulan.

Mulan: Really?

Aurora: Yes, it surprised me too.

Phillip: You have to take that as a compliment, Mulan is loyal and courageous. She's really a good person.

Mulan: Thank you, Phillip.

Aurora: I know it, and I'm good with that, just saying that I didn't really expect that ^^' Did you take the test too, Mulan?

Mulan: No, not yet.

Robin Hood: It's nonetheless surprising to see the result that you are friends. Finally, it is rather strange indeed.

Phillip: Isn't it? Anyway, I think the result is quite satisfying nonetheless.

Robin Hood: I take that as a compliment.

Phillip: Being a very talented archer, yes, I'll take that as a compliment.

Regina Mills: It's okay, you're done sending you flowers?

Aurora: You jealous Regina?

Regina Mills: I do not see in which way being Emma Swan could be something good.

Emma Swan: Thank you, Regina.

Robin Hood: Being Emma Swan still has a good side, Regina, right?

Regina Mills: How so?

Robin Hood: Whatever happens, you're still close to Henry.

Regina Mills: …Ah yes. But it's the only good part.

Emma Swan: Yes, well, it's good?

Mulan: And you, Robin and Emma, did you take the test?

Robin Hood: No

Emma Swan: No, and this kind of stuffs does not interest me really.

Regina Mills: AHAH! Emma Swan, are you afraid of taking the test?

Neal Cassidy: Here, I would like you to take the test, Rumpelstiltskin. It could be fun.

Lacey: Right, it could give you something interesting.

Mr. Gold: …Let me out of it.

_Emma Swan and Malcolm like this._

* * *

_Privates messages: William Smee and Killian Jones._

Killian Jones: Sorry, Smee. I need to talk with someone.

William Smee: I see that.

Killian Jones: I don't understand why she threw that rumour!

William Smee: Maybe you sought her, Captain.

Killian Jones: Yet I didn't do anything special... She even threatened me to sink the Jolly Roger!

William Smee: Oh yes, notwithstanding.

Killian Jones: Because supposedly I did not understand the lesson. But which lesson? We should not joke with women? Pfff ... all the same.

William Smee: Careful Captain you tell us anything that would make you look like a misogynist sexist.

Killian Jones: I just wanted to share my passions, Smee.

William Smee: As does everyone.

Killian Jones: I did not think that she would even make me confess my fantasies with her!

William Smee: …

Killian Jones: Smee, tell me you didn't read anything.

William Smee: …

Killian Jones: Smee, if you say a word to anyone, I'll slice your throat.

* * *

_Messages of the group: Discover with whom Regina is in a relationship._

Lacey: I still support my thesis.

Ruby: Which is?

Lacey: That Regina's relationship is with Emma.

Archibald Hopper: …Regina is in a relationship.

Emma Swan: Stop! This is nonsense! I have already explained!

Killian Jones: Hoho, Swan, you see how it feels?

David Nolan: You, the pirate ga... the pirate, we didn't ask you anything.

Killian Jones: …Thank you for having me corrected. But I see that the habit has began to take you.

Ariel: Me, I continue to think she still has a relationship that's quite strange with Mr. Gold.

Lacey: Eh!

Archibald Hopper: …The Evil Queen.

David Nolan: Ariel, Mr. Gold has a strange relationship with everyone.

Lacey: But! I don't allow you!

Mulan: Perhaps it is best to avoid jumping to conclusions?

Lacey: Thanks, Mulan!

Ruby: Mulan is right.

Neal Cassidy: It would require that we draw up a list of suspects.

Emma Swan: Stop it, it looks like we are talking about a murder here.

* * *

Killian Jones: It's quite interesting to see what a profile can generate.

Mulan: A true cataclysm.

Lacey: Rumple has nothing to do with Regina!

Emma Swan: It is true the way you said it, Ariel... Do we suddenly say that Eric could be in a relationship with Regina?

Ariel: …Well, okay, perhaps she's not in relationship with Mr. Gold...

Lacey: Ah, yes, anyway, thank you!

Ariel: But in this case it could be Robin Hood then!

Robin Hood: What?

Archibal Hopper: …In a relationship.

Ruby: …Ariel, explain me how you came from Mr. Gold to Robin Hood.

Neal Cassidy: …That's a bit weird, yeah.

Ariel: Do not seek an explanation! What counts is the result.

Robin Hood: Sorry to disappoint you, but I am compelled to tell you that it's not me that's her partner.

Emma Swan: You know it is very unpleasant to be accused of something like that at random?

Robin Hood: Moreover, she seems to treat me like a thief. A less than nothing.

Lacey: Not false.

Ariel: No, I support my thesis. Did you see how she reacts when he was accepted into the group Storybrooke?

Emma Swan: …As she would have done with anyone.

Lacey: I quite agree with Emma.

Archibald Hopper: …So she is really in a relationship.

Neal Cassidy: And who told you that it's not Graham? Or Jefferson?

Jefferson: CERTAINLY NOT

Emma Swan: Damn, when we speak of the devil, we see the tail.

Ruby: Excuse me?

Emma Swan: Oh, sorry Ruby, it is an expression.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: I doubt that either Graham. She stole his heart because he had disobeyed, I remind you.

Neal Cassidy: But he was her lover for a while.

Emma Swan: Because Regina had his heart!

Neal Cassidy: …Yeah, well, alright.

Lacey: I support Emma/Regina

Ariel: No, this is Robin and Regina.

Emma Swan: I TOLD YOU NO

Robin Hood: It is not logically impossible, I support it.

_Malcolm likes this._

* * *

Archibald Hopper: …The Evil Queen, is in a relationship.

Killian Jones: Say, just one question: who invited cricket in the conversation? No need to be a psychologist to see that he was traumatized. And that we're not helping things there.

Emma Swan: Ah yes.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Aah, yes, that's right.

Lacey: At the same time, Regina, in a relationship, it makes one.

Ariel: Not false.

Archibald Hopper: In a relationship... She is in a relationship.

David Nolan: I would never think that Archie could be so shocked.

Mary Margaret Blanchard: …I am going to talk to him, he really seemed shocked.

Archibald Hopper: …Regina Mills, The Evil Queen, is in a relationship. She is in a relationship. With someone. In a relationship.

Emma Swan: …Hurry up, Mary Margaret, it looks pretty serious there.

* * *

Ashley Boyd likes "the shoes in crystal".

Killian Jones: Hmm, not very practical.

* * *

Zelena likes « the green ».

_Malcolm likes this._

* * *

Regina Mills wrote on her wall "In rereading quickly a facebook page I saw that a group was created by David Nolan. CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT DOES "Discover with whom Regina is in a relationship" EXACTLY MEANS?"

_Mr. Gold, Zelena, Cora and 2 people like this._


End file.
